Am I Out of Line?
by siren-serpent
Summary: After the incident in Thom's room, Alex reflects on her time in the Division and a certain someone who'd given her the "second chance" - pairing Alex/Nikita, femslash


DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything pertaining to the show Nikita. This is a work of fiction and for entertainment purposes only.

PAIRING: Nikita/Alex

SUMMARY: After the incident in Thom's room, Alex reflects on her time in the Division and a certain someone who'd given her the "second chance".

A/N: This fic contains spoilers for Season 1, Episode 5.

Sensei had taught her well. She had taught her how to straighten out her priorities. Fooling anyone who was stupid enough to intrude on her personal space, she shuts them out mercilessly. As the mission was to provide useful information and it ended there. It was all a show she put on. Day in day out, she saw herself in almost third person stance, Alex the little perfect recruit, rising to the occasion whenever there was a chance to gain Michael's trust. But not enough to set off suspicion, it was a game of intricate measuring, and all of it done with her heart dead in her throat.

Assignment after assignment she had proven herself. To last another day was something she celebrated silently in her mind. Peace and quiet was hard to come by in Division, so she put off sleep for as long as she can, to reward herself in the dark. Lights-out time, the finish line for her day, she lay there, on the grey mattress Division had supplied. Slightly better than the floor, but the bed and blankets gave her security and comfort in knowing there was time. Time to leave the actress mask on stage and be herself for the next moment in peace; tonight however, peace was soon becoming a struggle.

Alex tossed to the side and kicked at her covers in the near darkness. Save for the light emitting from the digital alarm clock, her room was pitch-black. She laid there with one hand under her head, while the other hand was fast on her temple. She could feel a headache coming on, and she knew the exact source.

Drawing out a long breath, her eyes fluttered open in utter obscurity. She guessed she should be glad, for this didn't happen sooner, when she was still green as a grasshopper in her mission. The way she handled herself in the pristinely white tank and slate colored pants must've been different. As she could tell it was more than just a 'new girl' exclusion thing. There must've been an air of snobbery around her that scared off those other new recruits. They must've all hated her guts like Jaden but were spineless to confront her. Jaden, she'll give credits for her persistent efforts. It was hilarious almost; it reminded her of an episode on the cartoon network. Then there was Thom, she didn't know what to make of him, other than he's got the wrong idea.

Thom. If she were to think logically, what about him? Another guy who was simply at the wrong place at the wrong time and fitted all the wrong criteria Division wanted in a recruit. He was disposable like she was. Cancellable at the likings of Percy, and yet here she was depriving herself of much needed sleep and replaying the scene in her mind over and over again. No…it wasn't that she was crushing on Thom like Jaden had feared. A tiny laugh escaped her lips at the thought of that. No. He was clueless, stupid, really what was he thinking? Sure, he must've been fooled by her, and been acting on hormones. He would've been the perfect big-brother protective type every girl dreamt of, if he didn't pull the stupid stunt of a kiss after his all-knowing "second chance speech". Alex didn't know who he was trying to convince, her or himself? He had only managed to remind Alex of a special person, the real person who gave her, "the second chance".

Alex sighed and buried her face in the softness of the pillow. She could remember her strategized lessons and training sessions prior to Division. Her finger hovering on the monitor screen with a bratty pout on her face at the lecture, pointing at the jumbled up letters and numbers, she knew there was no way she could just shrug this off.

"You'll have to try harder than that Alex."

Her voice echoed with the sound of her heels. Alex found herself in a knot, to focus on the sultry voice of her sensei and be carried away or focus on those rosy lips and be condemned to the restraints of fantasy. As she was briefed by Nikita about mission types and the importance of hacking skills within the Division, Alex found herself helpless at the mercy of her sensei, who stopped at midsentence. Nikita noticed something was off.

"What's wrong?" Alex knew her sensei had expected more out of her, and to think she was disappointing Nikita only complicated her already conflicted emotions. "You've been zoning out on me all day Alex, are you not feeling alright?"

"I…" Alex remembered focusing hard on those lips, so hard, words were drawn out in the buzzing of the computer and the world was spinning. The next thing she knew, her sensei's hands was caressing her on the jaw. "Alex, you are awfully warm," There was concern in her voice, as she lowered herself to Alex's seated position for further inspection. "I…I might be…" Despite best efforts, a verbal explanation was next to impossible. Instead, Alex found herself acting on instinct. Her hand was on Nikita's wrist, as her blue eyes met with her sensei's, it was now or never.

"…going out of line…"

Alex brought her face closer to her sensei's. Their lips separated only by the exchange of breaths close together, in an almost kiss. Inching closer in a painfully slow fashion, the monitor forgotten in the back of their minds as Alex closed in whatever minuscule space that was left between them, finally finding the courage for what had been building up since regaining the will to live. The moment their lips met Alex was sure, Nikita would be the person she would devote her absolute loyalty to. Giving the She grasped hungrily at those delicate straps of her sensei's, the older woman pulled her closer deepening the kiss until Alex broke it, breathless and hungry.

The kiss had been too short in her mind, but it awoke something in the both of them, an instinct perhaps. Her eyes fluttered half closed in uncertainty, but doubt was not what she saw on her sensei's face. It didn't take a split second for Nikita to find her lips by force with a passionate hold and for Alex to realize Nikita wanted this as much as she did.

Alex found her own fingers brushing against her lips as the memories of that night flooded by. She was brought back to her setting of her room, on the single mattress, in complete pitch-black.


End file.
